Drowning


So much to be thankful for this week…while it’s been a rough past few weeks of illness and things seemed to be falling apart…I am always amazed that at those times God seems to answer the most prayers, and seems to be the most near.

I am overwhelmed with life right now, so I’m quiet and reflective, and there is not really a story in me today, just a desire to live out my story and not just to write about thanks and grace, but to bathe in the joy and to swim in the grace…to live the grace. Sometimes this may mean writing less, and having less to say, and listening more.

So this week, I’m not struggling to keep my head up out of the muck–I’m drowning in grace–in a way, it’s a choice, and in a way, it’s just an answering to the weight of God’s glory, like the bending of a tree in a hurricane.

“If grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking…”
My gratitude:

#259 my hands being in dirt–fall flowers and a deep breath of change

#260 for the ability to take a moment to be calm and at peace–to just rest

#261 husband taking me to buy flowers to make my yard beautiful

#262 a lazy nap in the hammock with husband on Sunday and really doing Sabbath rest

#263 his response when i ask to make a request: “I’ll take care of it” and my relief…this shepharding that i need, and why did i ever buck it?

#264 a family day at Mr. Simmons’ work–more fun than four girls can imagine with rides and all the jumping and ice cream a kid could want–and how it’s different this time and my admission, “You have never been more attractive to me than right now, because you provide our family with all this.” and his “really?”

#265 working together as a team to make the day as enjoyable as possible in the heat before packing up and hiking back to the van for the long drive home

#266 knowing that things are easier because i am submissive out of respect and love for my family…not out of the need to follow a rule…this is grace


#267 God blessing us financially to be able to buy all we need for school

#268 the first day and no crying and we have actually been productive–maybe i can do this schooling thing after all

#269 a few books that are missing from our order…knowing that everything will work itself out and worrying will not help

#270 Lilly getting an infection and me having to stop and all of the resulting time spent rocking and soothing, cheek to cheek and feeling her go limp asleep, safe in my arms

#271 that she always prefers me–no greater feeling

#272 Lilly grinning up at me with those wide, red plump lips, that smile that seems to take up her whole face, gleaming angelic joy, her on her new little throne and training to be a big girl

#273 me coming out of the woods with a 3 ft tall Spider Lilly and bulbs to plant and husband, riding the mower, looking at me shocked, “where did YOU come from?”

#274 happy work, all of us together

#275 girls helping me place bulbs deep in the ground–me working hard to snatch a last bit of light and lush, bright lillies to go in the holes–so they can wave to the road from their post in front of the picket fence

#276 how Lorna comes and tells Ivy she can go take a break while she finishes up the watering

#277 planting and digging ’til i can’t see, raking dirt, seeing the grass comb back and fluff up green, lillies looking out from the dark, settled in their homes, a candle brought by daughter my only light

#278 sheets, blankets and toys coming out of washer smelling clean

#279 scrubbing dried banana out of rugs, soaking stains and making everything clean…lighting candles when everything is laid bare and peaceful

#280 thankful for the healthy body with which to serve and to make home a haven

#281friends who aren’t going anywhere, who forgive and let me forgive back, and the great solace i find in this

#282 how Lilly’s small, light voice keeps sing-song calling out in the afternoon to her eldest sister: “Lo—na” (Lorna)

#283 how Bella says very matter-of factly to her sisters when asked to do something, “Sorry, I gotta swing”

#284 a late night run with an old friend, talking into the wee hours of the morning like teenagers and knowing that she is more family than she is friend. that God keeps blessing me with good friends

#285 how he keeps pulling the bible off the shelf and bringing it to the table night after night, never giving up on us, even when we are unruly, irritable and tired. how this soothes me.

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12 thoughts on “Drowning”

  1. Oh Nacole…so glad to hear you…I am thankful you are finding grace. You have been on my heart…I continue to hold you before the throne of Grace and Mercy…you are Loved…He sees you and He hears you…praying for grace to continue to choose….continue to receive.

    Blessings to your day sweet lady…

  2. oh, you too, Ro. i am always amazed at your kindness–i think that is because i do not feel deserving. i know my sinful heart, and the struggles, and i am just grateful that God is still there, faithful, enduring, long-suffering–his love is perfect. and so when friends like you continue to love on me with that perfect love, i am just amazed. amazed and very blessed.

    thank you for your prayers. i feel them.

    love you, friend,

    Nacole

  3. Kathleen,

    yes, i find it fascinating…how the rest on this day is so rejuvenating and soothing…God created it this way, so why did we ever try to go against the current?

    thanks for stopping by!

  4. What an absolutely beautiful family! I love, love, love your pictures. What fun!

    I really enjoyed your gratitude list. I especially liked:

    #260 for the ability to take a moment to be calm and at peace–to just rest

    #262 a lazy nap in the hammock with husband on Sunday and really doing Sabbath rest

    #266 knowing that things are easier because i am submissive out of respect and love for my family…not out of the need to follow a rule…this is grace

    #278 sheets, blankets and toys coming out of washer smelling clean

    I'm trilled we've connected! I subscribed to your blog via email. I'm looking forward to what reading more of what the Lord gives you to write. Excited to get better acquainted.

  5. Stephanie,

    ahh…what a lovely thing to say. you are so kind and what an encouragement it is to read your sweet words today! they came at just the right time.

    im thrilled too, because i can almost hear the excitement in your voice, and that heightens my joy! thanks for subscribing, and if i haven't done so already, i will be over to do that soon as well, so that i can continue to stay in touch.

    blessings,

    Nacole

  6. Sweet Nacole, I am blessed by visiting here today. “Living the Grace” is something I do sometimes without words to share, and I pray rich blessings over this season for you. He made you and keeps you worthy for this love and Grace. May you receive it, unwrapping it moment by blessed moment.

  7. Nacole…way to stay faithful in the midst of difficult times. Keep counting His blessings. Thanks for your kind words on Our Adventure with Boys…they bless.
    jenna

  8. I like that “drowning in grace” – sometimes you just need to let that current of grace carry you. And your thanks list – you always inspire me with your thanks list – and it is wonderful that God gives us friends who are like family:):)Yeah – I've been carried away in a current where I haven't visited much – just adjusting to this different season of life. However, I've been keeping you in my prayers:) Be blessed!

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